A few days ago, my good friend Chad asked Sam how he was doing. This is pretty much what happened:

Chad: Hey Sam, how’s it going? Did the advice I give you help in your love life?
Sam: Screw you, Chad, I don’t want to talk to you.
Chad: Sam, that’s not very nice.
Sam: I don’t care. I do not appreciate you still being alive.

Needless to say, we were all pretty shocked at this rudeness.