We believe Sam to the be inspiration for many popular characters throughout the entertainment industry. Here’s a photo comparison to prove our point.

<3 Sam Ni.

Sam loves his cousins. When I say love, I mean love. Actually, I really mean lust. Dirty dirty lust.

Today, he said that his cousins were “beautiful people” and there was “nothing wrong with that.” When Andrew said he could see what Sam sees in his cousins, Sam almost punched him out of jealous rage. Apparently his cousins are only for him to lust after.

Poor cousins and Andrew, we feel for you.

This just in… we hear it’s now been confirmed that Sam is “playing for the other team.” Looks like he moves on quickly too! Six hours and he’s found himself another…

Poor Jeff, we feel for you, buddy.

A few days ago, my good friend Chad asked Sam how he was doing. This is pretty much what happened:

Chad: Hey Sam, how’s it going? Did the advice I give you help in your love life?
Sam: Screw you, Chad, I don’t want to talk to you.
Chad: Sam, that’s not very nice.
Sam: I don’t care. I do not appreciate you still being alive.

Needless to say, we were all pretty shocked at this rudeness.