We recently learned that Ochs and Weishan’s first batch of wedding invites got stolen from their doorsteps on their delivery date. Obviously the only person who has motive is Sam Ni. Shame on you, Sam! Find another girl (or man?) to pursue with your insane lust!

Luckily, they managed to salvage this unfortunate situation by having the invites resent to an undisclosed location so Sam couldn’t steal them once again.

In other news, Sam Ni stars in the latest Meatcation 2 trailer:

I was getting ready to tag Sam in some Facebook photos, but it seems like he may have gone emo and rage quitted on his virtual life. This now firmly places Samitic.us as the number one result for Sam Ni on Google. Who needs a Facebook presence from Sam when you can just search for his name and find this 100% accurate authoritative source of all things Sam Ni?

Coming soon are videos from a party Sam attended and some reports of harassment committed by Sam.

Word has it on the streets that Sam failed his quota last week. Failure.

On that note, if you want to attract the attention of Lord Samiticus, might I suggest some of these. He has recently forsaken his “face guy” title for “boob guy.”

Sam’s playing with my emotions, it seems. Today, we went to get dessert at Chez Zee with TC and Ryan, and Sam said he wouldn’t feed a bite to TC but if “Oliver had asked, I would probably do it. I think I probably have a man-crush on Oliver.”

Also, earlier in the week, Sam confessed that he would have a three-some with me (even though I was not willing to).

With that, I will close this post inspired by the Backstreet Boys, who Sam left playing on the computer next to mine the other day…

Quit playing games with my heart, Sam, with my heart… with my heart…

A few days ago, my good friend Chad asked Sam how he was doing. This is pretty much what happened:

Chad: Hey Sam, how’s it going? Did the advice I give you help in your love life?
Sam: Screw you, Chad, I don’t want to talk to you.
Chad: Sam, that’s not very nice.
Sam: I don’t care. I do not appreciate you still being alive.

Needless to say, we were all pretty shocked at this rudeness.