Many years ago, Sam announced that “if I turn 28 and I haven’t had a girlfriend yet, I will let my mom take over.” Well, the time has come!

In what seems to have been a last-ditch effort, we’ve recently discovered the following on KXAN:

UT student wakes, finds intruder in bed

A University of Texas students says she woke up to find an intruder in her bed early Sunday morning at the Moore-Hill dormitory.

University of Texas Police are now looking for an Asian male with short black hair who was wearing a white t-shirt and black basketball shorts at the time of the incident.

According to UTPD, the girl woke up around 3 a.m. on Sunday morning to find the man in her room. He attempted to pull the bed covers over her and lay on top her, but she resisted and he left the room when the girl screamed for help.

Earlier that day, the following was on Sam’s Facebook:

We’ll let you put together the pieces to this “puzzle.”

That said, happy birthday, Sam! Hope your mom can find you a girl that doesn’t mind making conjugal visits to your jail cell.